Crete

I have decided that this blog is about Israel so I will spare you a detailed account of our wee vacation.

Crete was lovely. Have no fear: we were not eaten by minotaurs. We saw lots of countryside, swam at the base of a castle, explored Minoan, Greek and Byzantine ruins, ate feta filled hamburgers and did countless U turns in our wee rented toyota. I feel refreshed, but not terribly rejuvenated right now because I am still sleep deprived from the 2 am flight home. The big thundercloud from over my head has been successfully soaked away in the salty Mediterranean, exfoliated in the hot sand, drowned in evening beers, baked away by sunshine, and put in perspective by the rise and fall of ancient civilizations.

I think James is trying to get back at me for all the dirty laundry about him I have posted on this blog. I asked him to email me a pic of Crete and of the 210 photos we took, he chose a good one of him on the beach and the one of me looking like an idiot pretending to be a wind mill. You want to play this game? I, and only I know the password to this blog. Bring it on, Ashenbury!

James it turns out, really didn't understand my desire to spend a few days recharging outside of the middle east. But after a few days in Crete, James got a wee taste of what I had been feeling; he just about blew a gasket because it is nearly impossible to find a toilet on the island that has all three of: toilet paper, toilet seat, and a lock.

I got lots of practice diving standard- not that I got much past second gear. We seemed to be constantly going steeply up on windy roads, or steeply down. James provided coaching and also managed to get over his fear of driving in a Mediterranean city with only a few hundred or so curse words uttered.

Before too long, it was time to head back to J-town and back to work.

It took nine checks of our passports in order to get out of Israel (we counted). It took two to get back in. Odd.

Mazel Tov to David and Galia

Since about January, my office-mate David has been keeping me updated on his ongoing marriage saga, starting with Galia "just visiting the family in England" in the winter. Then there was buying a ring, proposing, wedding planning, finding a Rabbi, proving they are Jewish, finding a photographer...

Finally last week, the big day came and I was there along with three hundred others there to witness. Adiel tells me the wedding size was pretty average for Israel and his wedding was 1000. The place was pretty swank with palm trees, spot lights, decorative potted plants, etc. It made out wedding under the trees in my parents back yard look extremely simple (not that I mind!)

Assi was coaching me on the appetizers which he says are often better than the meal. "First we go to this station, then we eat as we walk to the next station." and "No, don't bother with that one. There is no meat."

I was particularity impressed by the appetizer hunting and gathering skills of a couple of rotund guests I noticed standing near the entrance to the kitchen like vultures. They were deftly intercepting every plate of appetizers that came out.

Yossi, the most religious of the lab mates, intently watched the Chuppa ceremony to make sure it was done right while Amit provided a running translation for us anglos. Did you know that the groom actually gives the bride a contract saying what he will give her if he leaves her? Although not done this time, usually they announce the actual dollars and cents.

In time the cup was broken, everyone cheered and hugged the happy couple and we headed off to eat.

Then I discovered that my labmates like to dance. A lot. In fact, my labmates are dancing machines. At first there were just wild circles spinning around the couple. Shira and Ehud insisted we join in as a cultural experience, and I did, but I feared for my life at times. Later was the usual wedding reception dance with the added bonus of plastic maracas and glow sticks handed out by David's Mother. I discovered that some of my male labmates know every word to "Momma Mia" and aren't ashamed to sing along. My sister would be impressed.

Sorry about the out of focus pic. It was the only one I took because the rest of the time I was dancing.

That evening I had further proof that I indeed needed a vacation. Some guy asked me about my research and then asked "What's the application of that?". In a few minutes when I asked what he did - architect- I boldly asked "What's the application of that?" I have never been so rude and I regretted it as soon as it came out of my mouth. I have always thought these things in my head but have never actually let them escape my lips before. He could have only gotten my hackles up more if he had said the dreaded "I hated chemistry in high school." People say this like I am a tax auditor or a repo man or something.

David and Galia's wedding was great. We got home at wearily at 1 am, packed, got one hour's sleep and then headed to the airport.

Janet 1, Travel Agent 0

Lately, I have been in short temper with my coworkers and my science. To boot,
the university is closed for the week along with the TEM, making chemistry difficult. And the guns and the security everywhere and the almost pathological fear of the neighbors have been grating on my nerves. I need a break.

So James and I decided to book a last minute trip to ANYWHERE- just not in the Middle East. After navigating a heap of Hebrew travel websites and visiting a travel agent who thinks Greece isn't in Europe, we settled on a sweet internet deal to Crete for five days.

With the help of a trusty Hebrew-speaking lab mate, Itai, who read to me all the fine print, I booked the trip this afternoon. Strangely along with my credit card number they wanted my nine digit "Identity Number" but being a Canuck, I don't have one so I put in my 9 digit student number. Itai, suggested that he call and tell them, out of courtesy, just to make sure everything goes though.

Travel agent lady gets worried and emails me a "form" to sign that she tells Itai only confirms that I will be returning to Israel with a foreign passport. The form shows up in my email in-box and I wisely translated it. At the very bottom it sneaks in something about a mystery "2.5% credit surcharge". One email and four phone calls later the Lady tells me I am charged extra because I have a foreign Visa Card.

Any other time I would have caved over the extra 23$, but in the last two weeks I have been in a constant bad mood and so I behaved out of character and proceeded to lash out with the full power of the thundercloud that has been hanging over my head.

I balk. We argue. She threatens to cancel my reservation. I tell her the policy is ridiculous and I say I'd like to cancel and hang up.

Two minutes later I get a phone call. The are not going to charge me the 2.5%.

For the first time ever, I called an Israeli's bluff and won.

Just when I am starting to get cranky enough to start negotiating like an Israeli, I am heading out of the country to get back my Canadainess. I relished in the victory all the walk home but it will be nice to get away for a bit so I can begin to recognize myself again.

Mazel Tov to Us!

Today is The Chicken and I's third wedding anniversary. Mazel Tov to us!

If we look like we are having fun in this pic, it is because we are. Me telling a story and James giggling. We still do that a lot and are still having a blast on our adventure together.

This year has proven to be the best year yet. Especially since we now actually live together and our celebration won't be as pathetic as the last two: phone calls.

Anhoo. Cheers to the Chicken.

Now I get to be mushy:

Mushy Mushy Mushy Mushy SMOOCH!

Sun Tanning

Welcome to the roof of my apartment building at 7:30 am this morning.

Behold the awesomeness of Israeli energy efficiency. Passive solar water heaters are simply everywhere. Over 90% of Israel residents have a solar water heater on the roof. We flick on the red switch next to our bathroom for 20 minutes in the AM just to give the sucker a little boost and then we have piping hot water all day courtesy of that great nuclear power station in the sky: the sun.

The genius of these guys it the simplicity. No fancy-dancy photovoltaics here. Just essentially a panel of black pipes hooked up to a hot water tank. You either have a wee pump to circulate the water or put the tank up on a stand, using the warm-water-rises principle to let the water circulate itself.

Lets see. The government website says you save 2000kWh/year and at ~16 cents (CAD) a kWh (according to our power bill), that is 320 bucaroonies a year of power savings. Sweet. And they cost only about 1000 bucks to buy and install (with the tank).

These suckers are so great that as of 1980 it is law that every new building has them. Our building is from the 50's so no pipe spaces were put in the concrete walls. As a consequence, there are black pipes everywhere snaking over the roof top down the exterior walls into each apartment. Not the most sightly thing but they are like power lines; you stop noticing them after a while.

Thousands of solar water heaters stand like guards on every roof becasue all of Israel's energy comes from imported coal and oil and this is not a good thing. Israel fears any reliance on the oil-rich neighboring arab countries. The anti-oil craze is bizarre for me as a researcher since all of Alberta's psyche was focused around the oil industry. If your proposal did not have the word "tar sands" in the fist sentence, rejection by the funding gods was inevitable. Here, research money is focused on getting rid of reliance on fossil fuels due to environmental, financial and, like all things in Israel, political motives.

Hence, the boss has recently become some high-falutin' chair of solar energy.

What does that mean for us grunts in the lab? This means there is money for students to work on our high tech ideas to collect solar energy, and we will make progress, but don't hold your breath.

You could hold out for highly-efficient inexpensive plastic photovoltaics that also make Julienne fries, but I think often the "low tech" solutions like passive solar water heaters, proper insulation of your house, heat pumps, double paned windows, a bus pass, a bicycle, getting a tune up or planting shade trees are the best and easiest decisions for now. As a consumer, this is where I would put my green money first.

Stacked.

Now that we have confirmed that we are living within our means, we have splurged on gym memberships to round out my twice-shabbat runs. Twice a week we are getting up to go to the gym: The Chicken to the stair-master where he ironically climbs his way down to the seventh level of hell, and me to the pool.

The demographic at the pool at 7:30 am is an odd one. Apparently students can't afford gym memberships at the University so the patrons are mostly over the age of forty and many over sixty. Indeed, at the advanced age of thirty, I feel like a sprightly young thing next to the potato shaped women in floral bathing suits and hot pink latex swim caps. Their dedication to fitness is commendable and I look forward to swimming until I need two canes to get to the pool.

The reason for all this exercise is because since I came to Israel, I have gained a whopping 15 pounds. It is the pita I tell you! Curse it. And the Rugelach: this evil addictive croissante pastry thing that comes still warm from the bakeries oozing sweet warm chocolate.....

Although my butt keeps getting bigger, I sadly still look like a green bean that has spent too long on the plant: long, thin, with odd bumps. If I am going to gain weight from Israeli food, I want to have the benefits of an Israeli body: Israeli women are stacked. I am not really a connoisseur, and even I have noticed the large number of high quality racks around here. I bet you that if I went into the bra store, the only ones I would find in my size would have Disney characters on them. These are a genetically blessed people.

Even The Chicken has commented on this, not to be mean ('cause commenting on other women is a death trap for hubbies) but because it is hard not to notice. "Unfortunately," he noted "what comes up must come down. " Which brings me back to the potato shaped women in the gym... =)

Mystery Fruit 11: The Fig

Every year at Christmas time I sing and demand some figgy pudding. Despite my annual pleading cries, I have never even seen a real fig let alone taste one or sample some of the famed figgy pudding.

So I have taken matters into my own hands. The figs are in season here and they look like big soft green chestnuts.
It actually took us three purchases of figs in order for me to actually get to taste them.

First Batch: mushed beyond recognition on the walk home.
Second Batch: Slightly mushed. Left on counter overnight. Attracted fruit flies. Hubby put in bag on porch. Rotten and moldy within a few hours.
Third Batch: Purchased at the fruit store very close to our house. Only partially mangled and eaten directly to avoid any more catastrophes.

Now I know why figs are usually dried. What a pain in the fig.

It turns out that figs are extremely sweet without much flavour. Consequently, The Chicken loved them and gobbled them all up. I'll stick to dates.

Even better than the fruits are the leaves. We found a tree hanging into the street from a nearby backyard. The leaves were way more fun. BEHOLD, not Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, but Hen and Chicken near the garden of Levi.

Bethlehem, THE WEST BANK. DUNH DUNH DUNH.....

If you look out from our bedroom window you will see an expansive valley flanked on the other side by hill with a monastery on top. Literally just behind that hill is Bethlehem. Forgoing the 100$ tours run by local companies, we got up early, headed to the Arab sheruts near Damascus gate, paid our six shekels (2$), got cosy with a bunch of Palestinians and some backpackers and made the twenty minute treck to where no Israeli is allowed to go. No kidding. There was a big sign on the way into Bethlehem reminding them it was illegal for Israeli Citizens to enter the city.








We did the necessary visit to the Church of the Nativity, but meh, I think I am getting all churched out. It was a big church. Ancient Floor. Crusader paintings. Lots of lamps. Cave beneath. Nuf Said.














But the city and the market were fabulous. Saturday is the busiest day and it was lively and vibrant. The Markets of Bethlehem seemed markedly more colourful than those of Jerusalem. Perhaps it is because in contrast to the sedate and humble colours encouraged by Judaism, the Muslim and Christian Arab women seem to show their humility by wearing a lot of clothes, but are not limited in their colour pallate.











Since the wall went up a few years ago, the economy in Bethlehem has tanked. Most work is in Jerusalem and getting work permits and going though daily security checks is difficult. Compared to the Arab Market in the old city of Jerusalem, the market in Bethlehem reflects the depressed economy. Although full of people and vibrant, most of the wares were used: piles of used clothes, housewares and used shoes were for sale. I also figured out why the churches and mosques of Jerusalem don't have pigeon problems. Live pigeons were for sale next to rabbits and chickens. Yummy, Pigeon.

Right about now, my mom is freaking out reading this. My daughter went WHERE? But Palestinians are extremely friendly people and other than an annoying pushy "tour guide" near where the sherut dropped us off, everyone politely answered out questions for directions. In a crowded market in a town that is trying to do their very best to keep the foreign tourists coming.... well there wasn't much to worry about as a Canadian. If I were Israeli, or James was a kippa-wearing Jew, I wouldn't have made the trip.




We stopped for a yummy lunch of felafel and shawarma at a place full of Muslims but was owned by Arab Christians (we noted the cross and the Madonna and child above the counter. The felafel dude was very impressed by James' ten words of Arabic and said so in fluent English. Then we hopped back on a sherut. Five minutes later at the wall we got out of the sherut, stood in a line, had our passports and visas scrutinized by a 20 year old with an assault rifle and got back in the sherut.

Palestinians are also very photogenic people I discovered. I took lots of photos from the hip and posted them up on facebook if you are interested.

Mystery fruit 10: Mystery Fruit Tree

Twice a day I walk past the Israel Museum and this seemingly inconsequential tree out front. For months, I walked past his leafy branches without notice but lately, a change has occurred that has prompted this note.

Nestled amongst the leaves, there are fruits growing and being in a public place, these fruits will be FREE fruits when they ripen.

But this is the question: what kind of fruits are they? Oranges? Lemons? Mangos?(please please please let them be mangos!)

We await the change in season with bated – and salivating – breath.

Just so you know- I like fruit.

Cold Fusion Fiasco

A couple of days ago was the nano-students conference. I realized I didn't have to go because for the fist time in twenty-four years, I AM NOT A STUDENT. Woo HOO!

But then two days before the conference, Amit, who was on the organizing committee, comes into the lab and says "You can say no, but..." and so I ended up going as a judge for the poster session.

One of the plenary lectures was by this dude from Energetics, an Israeli company claiming to have observed cold-fusion. Since "cold-fusion" is now synonymous with "bad science", giving a talk on cold fusion to a room full of scientists is like giving a talk in your underwear: you either are A) very comfortable in your underwear, B) think your words will keep people focused on your face, or C) you have deluded yourself into thinking you are wearing pants. I am thinking that the presenter thinks it is A and B, but actually suffers a little from C.

The guy presented a very pretty little video, scads of data, and a clip from a 60 Minutes program. Basically you put a giant voltage across a flask of heavy water, the Deuteriums collect in the palladium electrode and whammo! They notice the water starts heating up.

I was unimpressed and remain skeptical. Since I only know the basics of nuclear chemistry and the issue, my skepticism has more to do with how it was presented than the science. Here's why:

1) The big difference between their set up and the one that famously got de-bunked and sent to the realm of science infamy is that they use a "super-wave" voltage pattern. When an audience member asked where this pattern came from, the guy started rambling about a medical doctor and hair on your arm and nothing that had to do with anything.

2) They observe lag times of around a day before anything happens. The guy didn't even try to guess why that would happen. I would never dream of presenting data like that without at least having an educated guess to suggest.

3) The dude didn't explain why their experimental set up would be able to overcome the super strong nuclear repulsions. This seemed like a key idea you would want to include for a presentation to scientists.

4) They haven't detected helium. "The mass spec isn't set up yet" he claims.

5) They have checked for possible chemical reactions that could be supplying the heat. But everyone involved was a physicist or electrochemist. I have seen physicists try and do chemistry. Not pretty. That is like asking the plumber to check the wiring in your house.

6) Why, oh, why would you try to pass off a 60 Minutes clip as an independent reviewer to 250 scientists?

Despite my cynicism on this subject, I am open to being proved wrong. Indeed, I HOPE I will be proved wrong. This would change everything. Energy where the only product is normal, boring Helium? Fan-stinkin-tastic. But somehow I still think it is about as likely as me seeing Elvis alive and well and selling felafel in the old city.