To boldy go...to Kiryat Moshe

In a few minutes I am leaving to meet Captain Kirk to see if I can rent a room in his apartment for two weeks while I wait to take possession of my apartment. I wonder if he will speak like he types. You be the judge from his emails:

DEAR JANET... I WONT BE HOME TILL 9 PM THIS EVENING...
PERHAPS IT WILL BE EASIER THURSDAY MORNING BEFORE 10 AM...
I LIVE AT 58/2 SEDEROT HERZL IN KIRYAT MOSHE...

and a later email:

DEAR JANET...
9:30 AM WILL BE FINE... SEE YOU THEN...
BEST WISHES...

GERSHON... SHEMESH

See? I think Gershon Shemesh must be Hebrew for William Shatner.

Food and Housing

The maple shekel has found a place to live! YEA! However, I don’t get to move in for another three weeks. I think I am going to move back to the Austrian Hospice in the old city and hang out with the Nuns for 23 US bucks a night, rather than the 70 I am paying here at the Belgium House/ Faculty Club place.

The chicken and I will be living in Talbieh, on the top floor of a 4 floor apartment building. We have a great view of the city, two balconies, two big rooms and a kitchen, and not to mention a piano. Since I couldn’t be bothered with a TV, I will be spending a good chunk of my time playing the ‘ol black and whites and torturing the neighbours.

On the way back from my meeting with the new landlord I strolled my way through campus to have a four star meal. I carefully chose from the vending machine menu my entré (cookies to go with the plain yoghurt in my fridge). Mood lighting came from the street lights along the campus pathway which did not dull the view of the city from our lofty campus perch on the hill of Gi’vat Ram. The flower arrangements were provided by the two trees with the giant stinky flowers that look like cream coloured trumpet bells pointing to earth. Dinner entertainment was provided by the territorial maneuverings of the highly educated and very abundant campus cats.

How, you might ask, is Janet of the legendary gut sustaining life on such a meager diet? Do not fear, dear reader, for campus food is subsidized! For the cost of Ho-Ho’s special soup, I am chowing down each lunch time on a giant plate meat, veg and carb at the cafeteria with my like minded labmates. If cafeteria food doesn’t keep the weight on, nothing will.

Housing for important people

This evening I went to go look at an apartment in Talbeih, one of the nicest neighborhoods in Jerusalem. I had a hard time finding the apartment and I needed to call the dude, Walter, to tell him I was a little lost and consequently very late. But payphones in Israel only take cards which was news to me. So I had to find a store. Using my cartographic spidy-sense, went up this street to where I thought there might be stores. Unfortunately, after a couple of blocks, the street was blocked off and a secret-service looking guy came out to see what I was doing loitering and looking confused with my map. He was very nice and helpful and so I waved my hand at the road block and asked him “So, does someone important live on this street?” He looked at me strangely and said “Yes. The Prime Minister.” I had stumbled on the Israeli version of 24 Sussex Drive. Oops.

I eventually made it to the store, bought a phone card and outside met David, my first genuine J-town creep. He said I “look spiritual, my face and eyes look spiritual.” I told him, “no, I look lost” and promptly made an exit from the situation. (I know this guy was wierd, but I thought you would like to know, that for the most part I feel really safe here walking down the street- safer than I felt in Edmonton)

Anyway, I eventually called Walter, a Swiss born philosopher, and saw his fabulous and reasonably priced apartment. It looks like this might work out for a sublet while he is in Europe. He would be leaving behind all of his furniture, dishes and even his piano (YEA!!!). No papers have been signed yet, but we have an oral agreement and I will keep my fingers crossed.

So it looks like “number one” (a.k.a. me) and the “number one minister” (a.k.a. the Prime Minister) may be living in the same general neighborhood. Spiffy. Put the number one Chicken in this mix and that is a lot of important people living together.

The Viennese waltz, box springs and TV remotes

Just so you know, the old city of Jerusalem is everything you would expect it to be. Except smaller. Three major religions have their most holy sites all with one square kilometer. Besides the many religious sites, it is comprised of narrow, windy and confusing streets providing a sensual onslaught of all things for sale: spices, meat, clothing, candy, veggies, giant trays of baklava, shoes, tacky religious icons, and a surprising number of TV remotes. But outside the gates is another story; it is a busy modern city perched on a series of hills. Busses are zooming by, cars honking, everyone is on their way to work in the cement jungle. And now, I need to find an apartment in said jungle.

Sadly, many of the apartments in the areas around the campus have been bought by rich Americans, fixed up, and are being rented out as short term “luxury apartments” to religious tourists and are way out of my price range. However, there seemed to be a few half decent places on the internet within our meager budget.

Today, assisted greatly by my labmate and car owner, Itzik, I went to see three apartments. I have one word to describe them: slummy. As an example: one promising place was described as large, two bedrooms and furnished. When we saw it, it was old, dirty and the furniture dusty and 40 years out of date. A room was still full of the previous tenant’s stuff. The bed is just a mattress on the floor, described the slimy rental agent as we came into the bedroom. I asked “where is the mattress?” He responded “This is the mattress.” I said “that is not a mattress,” and he insisted that it was.

It was an old box spring. Lying on the floor.

And for the privilege of sleeping on it, I would need to pay 4000 Shekels, or about $1300 CAD. Not to mention the $350- 400 of municipal taxes and utilities I would need to tack on. These apartments make my hovel in Edmonton look like a castle.

I did learn a useful tidbit today. James and I are ideal tenants because we are likely to pay all of our rent and we will leave after two years for sure. Apparently it is really hard to evict a tenant here. I will have to exploit this point.

Itzik was horrified by these places. He says we will keep trying tomorrow. Maxie has found a good place so I will stolidly remain optimistic.

On a good note, my labmates seem friendly, the lab well equipped and I am SOOOOO ready to get going on my project. Today, I learned some exciting (but secret) things about the preliminary work already done by a PhD student that I will be working with. My fingers are itching to set up some reactions.

It is my last night in the Austrian hospice and there is a concert upstairs for all of the Austrian ex-pats. I am listening to live big band music in the old city of Jerusalem. Weird.