Interior of the Ministry of Interior

The day we went to Ramallah was a little stressful because of what I noticed in my passport that morning. My student visa was valid for another thirty days, but my "multiple entry visa" had expired the night before. What ensued was conversation over whether we were leaving the country or not by going into the occupied territory.

When push came to shove, I deftly showed the check point chick only my student visa and got though with no problem.

But I knew it was time to begin the arduous task of getting my visa renewed. After three hours of calling the Ministry of Interior and listening to annoying hold beeps, I got an appointment for both James and I. "Come Sunday," he said "or else the next appointments are in December. Bring, letter from University, health insurance, money, proof you are living here, and bring your marriage certificate." Really? My marriage certificate? OK.

Wait. Where IS my marriage certificate? I haven't seen it since the day I got married. One hasty closet search by Mom and a rushed fax by Dad (thank-you taxpayers) and I had a copy in hand. We have been hearing nightmares from our Ulpan comrades about visas as well as the news has been saying there has been a crack down of foreign workers. We had to make sure everything was perfect.

James and I made our way to the Ministry in time for our appointment. The door was locked and a sign proclaimed the office closed. Confusedly, we knocked and a security guard stuck his head out. "Name?" he demanded. He checked our named on a list, checked our passports and let us in through a half closed door. Two other security guards were lounging about in the entrance of the closed ministry.

The waiting area was surrounded my brown boxes strewn everywhere with years written on them in permanent marker. Some of them were open displaying pictures and forms of past visa applicants. We sat down and waited and suddenly noticed one of our forms wasn't filled out, so we madly pulled out our Hebrew skills and translated Georgetown, Dwight, Craig, Alexander etc. Then we waited more.

After waiting an hour, we finally asked and we got sent to room 209. Then in room 209 we got sent to Judith in Cubicle Three. Judith just yelled at us in Hebrew and refused to see our application. So we asked the lady in Cubicle Two what to do. When we told her Judith won't see us, she rolled her eyes, took our forms and three minutes, 640 shekels, and four stickers for our passports later, we are legal for another year. All hail the lady in Cubical Two!

On the way out, one security guard had his feet on the desk and was twirling a toothpick in his mouth. Another was leaning against the metal detector. The last was seated on the desk, feet on a chair playing "Hotel California" on a guitar held together with packing tape.

As soon as the door closed behind us, we both looked at each other and broke out laughing - both out of amusement and out of relief.

Janet 1, Travel Agent 0

Lately, I have been in short temper with my coworkers and my science. To boot,
the university is closed for the week along with the TEM, making chemistry difficult. And the guns and the security everywhere and the almost pathological fear of the neighbors have been grating on my nerves. I need a break.

So James and I decided to book a last minute trip to ANYWHERE- just not in the Middle East. After navigating a heap of Hebrew travel websites and visiting a travel agent who thinks Greece isn't in Europe, we settled on a sweet internet deal to Crete for five days.

With the help of a trusty Hebrew-speaking lab mate, Itai, who read to me all the fine print, I booked the trip this afternoon. Strangely along with my credit card number they wanted my nine digit "Identity Number" but being a Canuck, I don't have one so I put in my 9 digit student number. Itai, suggested that he call and tell them, out of courtesy, just to make sure everything goes though.

Travel agent lady gets worried and emails me a "form" to sign that she tells Itai only confirms that I will be returning to Israel with a foreign passport. The form shows up in my email in-box and I wisely translated it. At the very bottom it sneaks in something about a mystery "2.5% credit surcharge". One email and four phone calls later the Lady tells me I am charged extra because I have a foreign Visa Card.

Any other time I would have caved over the extra 23$, but in the last two weeks I have been in a constant bad mood and so I behaved out of character and proceeded to lash out with the full power of the thundercloud that has been hanging over my head.

I balk. We argue. She threatens to cancel my reservation. I tell her the policy is ridiculous and I say I'd like to cancel and hang up.

Two minutes later I get a phone call. The are not going to charge me the 2.5%.

For the first time ever, I called an Israeli's bluff and won.

Just when I am starting to get cranky enough to start negotiating like an Israeli, I am heading out of the country to get back my Canadainess. I relished in the victory all the walk home but it will be nice to get away for a bit so I can begin to recognize myself again.

Vision

Here are some curious aspects about Israel:

1) Non religious funerals and burials have only been legal for about ten years and have only been offered in the last few.
2) A bill was tabled in the Knesset this month to allow secular marriages. It was voted down after the first reading. (This one really bothers me for some reason, and I had a religious wedding myself!)
3) In the last few Saturdays in Jerusalem, there have been nasty protests involving rocks, dirty diapers and water cannons. The issue: whether a parking lot near the old city can be open on Shabbat.

It appears to me that Israel is a deeply divided country especially amongst the Jewish majority within. There is an ongoing debate between moral responsibility, religious values and pragmatism that is polarizing the Jewish citizens into separate camps that seem to not be able to find middle ground. One on the things I have taken for granted is the separation of church and state as being something desirable. But here, the exact role of religion in politics has yet to be decided.

Fundamentally, the vision of what Israel should be is very diverse amongst its people. Should this be a religious Jewish state? Or should this be a western style democracy protecting all of the minorities? Is Israel more morally responsible for the people they occupy, or to keeping its citizens safe? Should government be religious? Secular? By becoming more secular would Israel just be giving in to the pressures of America? Why should Israel aim to be secular when many of the countries around it don't even pretend? And probably most importantly: did God give us this land or the UN?

I brought up these issues of secular marriage and funerals and parting lots because they matter to people. These issues get argued over and over seemingly without resolution because, silly as they seem, they define the vision and direction of the nation.

Especially in Jerusalem, the population is growing more and more black-hat-wearing due to increased birth rates and immigration. The battle between secular and religious populations is becoming more and more heated.

So when you hear about conflict between soldiers who need body guards from the settlers, or Haredi black-hats throwing diapers and rocks at police over a parking lot being open on Shabbat, the issue isn't the parking lot or that specific group of houses in the desert. The conflict results from lack of a overriding vision of what Israel should be. These minor issues, because they represent the bigger picture of religious vs secular and super-zionism vs pragmatism, are not only fought with media friendly violence, but with political economic and even reproductive enthusiasm.

I had this whole second half to this verbose post relating these ideas to Canada, but The Chicken poo-pooed it. He says people can draw their own conclusions. In a way, I agree. At the same time, his poo-pooing is full of poo, because I don't trust people to think like me and we all know I have never been normal. What is the point of a blog if I can't draw conclusions and ask people to read them? My big point was this: Canada looks completely put- together and refined compared to this pot of political craziness, but there are still issues in Canada's past, present and future that will continually shape what "Canada" is. In some ways we are no different than Israelis, just with less diaper throwing.

Happy Canada Day everyone.

Bibi on board!

This morning I nearly went deaf on the walk to work all thanks to my good friend Binyamin Netanyahu.

We were calmly walking down Azza street when we were passed by a sirening cop car. As he whizzed by I grabbed my ears and exclaimed "Ach!". Then came a land cruiser SUV with tinted windows, a blue flashing light and again, ear splitting sirens. Then came a second, third and fourth identical land cruiser, each with sirens that seemed to blare "Get the heck out of the way! Bibi coming though!" Apparently, the PM needs four SUVs to keep the bad folks confused.

I figure the sirens were enough of a deterrent seeing as my hands were busy clutching both ears.

Seeing as Bibi works at the parliament house, The Knesset, which is on the way to the university, I suggested to James that we should try to hitch a ride some time. (The PM is only one dude, I am sure there is space for us in one of those SUVs). James said that trying to hitch a ride in the PMs convoy would only get us a free ride in a hearse. Sadly, he is probably right.

You know you are back in Jerusalem when...

The 7-eleven J-town style.

Here's Hoping!

With a serious amount of trepidation, I just wired a bunch of buckaroos to my account in Canada- well at least I hope it makes it there. The lady at the bank spoke "Lo Anglit" and could barely read neatly printed latin letters. It was a very exhausting thirty minutes for both of us. All day I will be madly checking my TD account hoping to see my money come through.

All of this is in preparation for Thursday's flight home to Ontario. We are going to spend two busy weeks saying goodbye to Grandma, visiting family, going to a wedding, and buying clothes that actually fit The Chicken, much to his annoyance. The man has lost I would guess 15 pounds since we last went shopping, and every morning with a great heave he cinches his belt to the smallest hole to avoid pants-around-the-ankles syndrome.

The weirdest part of this trip will be opening the cottage for the summer. Right before I left, I helped drain the water line, store the linens and put up the shutters for the cottages' winter sleep. To the cottage, it is as if I never moved to Israel and nothing has changed. Odd.

In good news: I found fifty shekels on the street this morning. James wants to spend it on a bus pass. Booo! Veto! I want to spend it on chocolate bars and ice cream.

Ministry of the Interior Mild Adventure

Sunday was my first experience with Israeli bureaucracy. I had to get my student Visa. About a month ago, I made about 40 telephone calls (literally) tying to get though to the Ministry of the Interior for an appointment. Today was the big day. I caught a cab down to the ministry, whose tiny, nearly unmarked door was crammed between a clothing shop and a mom-and-pop convenience closet (I would hardly call many of the businesses here stores. Overflowing closet with a guy with a cash register inside is more correct). I will admit the Ministry of the Interior was a little haphazard looking and missing the crisp government-style functional décor we Canadians know and love, but I got my visa there all the same. And it only took me an hour or so. I was expecting to be there all day.
The best part was filling out the application form. I had to write everything in Hebrew and English. I got my own name figured out a while ago, but how exactly would you spell Doris, Craig, Dwight, Edmonton, etc. in the Hebrew alphabet?
These were by best guesses:
דוריס Doris
קרג Craig
Dwight דוואיט
אדמונטון Edmonton

Others were applying for all sorts of visas and residencies. I overheard one American kid talk about his “proof of Judaism.” I imagine he was applying for Aliyah. Frankly, his keepah and the prayer shawl poking out from under his plaid shirt was proof enough for me. Now I am officially here on an A2 with multiple entries, and my wallet is 300 shekels lighter. Ouch. James tells me he only paid 30 bucks for his in T.O. but then again, he had to go four times to the consulate before they issued it to him.

A Business Proposal

Today was dreary and rainy. I had to take the bus to the other campus in order to be told about an inordinate amount of paper work I need to do. This is my favorite part. I need to get my visa extended. This will involve making an appointment (over a perpetually busy phone line) with the Ministry of the Interior. When I go, I will have to bring lots of letters and papers including evidence that I have an apartment. As well, I need to fill out scads of paperwork in order to get paid, for which I need a bank account. I shouldn’t get a bank account until I know what neighborhood I am living in. But wait, let’s think about this for a second. How am I going to pay for my still hypothetical apartment if I don’t have cheques? I’ll need a bank account for that. Beyond the circular argument problem, I still haven’t found a place that is not a hovel and is within my budget.

But this is besides the point of this post. As I was busing it though the streets of J-town on a drizzly day, I noticed a lot of plastic bags, shower caps and produce bags on a lot of big black hats. As you know, I am one for economy, but I think the orthodox population might jump on the chance to step up their rainy-day fashion statements.

Someone should find the supplier of those nicely fitting, very spiffy rain covers that the Mounties wear on their hats. Buy a few cases in Canuckistan, throw them in a suitcase and sell them here. I didn’t see a single well fitted hat cover today. You could make a killing! Buy them for 3 bucks a piece sell them for 15 shek (“made to withstand even Canadian weather!”) and make a 6 shekel profit. Multiply that by 7.28 million people, times 25% (Orthodox and Haredi folks) and divide by two (men only) that gives 5.5 million shekels (1.8 million CAD)! Perhaps I will supplement my apartment budget this way.