Sunday, June 27, 2010

Canada Day Invite

I thought I'd let you read my invitation for our Canada party since it is a big hit with the labmates who were suddenly dismayed by how bad their English was until they got to the second half of the email. Eyal told me the first word he had to look up was hosers (her pronounced it who-zers) and that he even used Google translator to figure out what the paragraph meant. By the way, if any of you are in town, feel free to drop by.

Howdy Hosers,

Next Thursday we'll be throwing a Bar-Bee-Que fer Canada day, eh? We'll be putting some tube steaks on the 'Q, roasting some s'mores, and making sure you folks know a little about The Great White North. The prizes will be more exiting than spinning donuts in the arena parking lot in a snow storm. The rest will be pot-luck, so break out your Auntie Edna's best butter tart recipe. Two hosers will need to bring the pop. It is BYOB (Bring Your Own Brewskies), but if you do you won't be getting on the snow machine after, eh? Respondez s'il vous plait, que nous voulons savoir comment des hot dogs d'acheter.

Did you understand that? In case you didn't here is a translation:

Hello Everyone,

Next Thursday, July 1, we are hosting a BBQ to celebrate Canada Day. We will supply the hot dogs, s'mores, and the famous Canada Day trivia quiz (with prizes!). Everyone should bring something to share (two people for the juice and soda). You can bring a beer or two for yourselves if you wish- but no drinking and driving. RSVP: which means, tell us if you are coming so we know how many hot dogs to get.

Let me know what you plan to bring.

Time: Thursday, after work (6:30pm)
Dress code: red and white or plaid (extra points for your team on the quiz for compliance)

Janet and James

Thursday, June 24, 2010

New Feature: Job Search

Since I am perpetually asked about it, I decided to add a new feature to my blog to keep you up to date on happenings. I am introducing a counter to keep you posted on my job search, which you can find on the side bar. Job search might be a bit of misnomer, I suspect in this economic climate, it is going to be more like a job safari.

For those not in the loop, PFOs means rejection letters. I'll let you figure out exactly what PFO stands for.

Job hunting is disheartening. All of those applications, so few jobs. I feel honoured and giddy just to get an email back from a secretary telling me that she/he received my application and generally acknowledges my existence. (And then I imagine my application making a thunking noise as it lands on the three foot tall pile of applications already sitting beside the desk.)

I have always been one to wear my heart on my sleeve. In this case, I am wearing it on my side bar.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Ashkelon





I came, I saw, I avoided the dead jelly fish.

They were huge and simply everywhere on the beach (but not to be confused with the any litter of plastic bags. Eyal points to the difference). Live ones were laying in wait in the shallows. Yehonadav bravely went for a five minutes swim and got stung three times. As much as I love water, I passed.

Eyal and Ehud went for a run in the morning and spent the whole time dodging the carcasses and got stung anyway from the slime they leave around.

My talk went well I think. People laughed at my dumb jokes and all my labmates told me I look spiffy in my new suit. This was a double compliment since I had taught them all the word "spiffy" a few months ago and it means they were listening.

Monday, June 21, 2010

The Dude Abides in J-town

If you haven't seen the movie "The Big Lebwoski" this will post will mean absolutely no sense. Just move on to the next one.

We see these symbols in car windows every once in a while. The Chicken was convinced they meant:

"This car doesn't roll on shabbos."



Someone a while ago told us the symbol was for disabled people. Hunh. Really? Disabled 10-pin bowling must be really big here.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Getting ready for Battle

The paper finally came back. And yep, as is my lot in scientific life, it is not ready for publication unless I can show my particles not only look good but can also make julienne fries. At least it wasn't a flat out rejection this time. After a couple of hours in a spectacularly foul mood on Friday, I am back to normal. So back to the lab and more work for me.

But not for a couple of days, because I am headed off to sunny Ashkelon. Where is Ashkelon, you might ask. Well, it is on the beach and one home-made rocket ride from the Gaza strip. Yep, this is the city that gets all the F-U-with-love rockets from Hammas.

Needless to say, I am very glad things are kinda quiet lately. And I hope those smuggling tunnels from Egypt have been moving food and aid and cement rather than more ammunition. Yes, I dare to dream.

What, pray tell will be taking me to Ashkelon? Well the world famous NanoIsrael Conference where yours truly will be giving a talk. I was shaking in my boots in Munich because all the big boys were there. I was nervous in Toronto because I was trying to impress but this is a whole new type of nervousness. Israeli audiences can be tough, brutal and a few of the profs have no problem telling you in front of an audience such zingers as "your research is based on the greatest failure of chemistry in the last 40 years. " I am considering battle amour over my suit. Maybe my towering height in my new three inch heels will be enough to scare them off.

Wish me luck!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Work place gossip

After many months of frustration, my life has been De-cabbagified.

That is right, the Cabbage is leaving. It is sad really. The Cabagge is a well meaning vegetable, and would make a decent cole slaw. Unfortunately cabbage is just not a vegetable for making pea soup and gingered carrots.

It is just too bad that the cabbage didn't see this coming, and looked for a new garden earlier.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Trip Update

It is 2 am, and like clockwork for the third night in a row, I am wide awake. Just for the record, I loathe Jet lag.

I guess I will take this time to update you on my trip home.

The conference went well. Every day I was out the door by 7 and out 'till 11 pm "networking", which is more like catching up with old chemistry friends who are now dispersed to the wind, and shamelessly talking with profs about the job situation. I felt like a naughty teenager sneaking back into James' Aunt and Uncles Condo long after they had gone to bed.

A surprise highlight was running into Ron, my grad-student supervisor during my very first research experience way back when I was just an undergrad. I haven't seen him really since I graduated in 2002. A big bear of a man, he quickly dispensed with any professionalism, put me in a headlock and gave me a noogie.

My talk went well; my scratchy voice held out, the room was packed, and there were lots of nodding heads. Most of them were from people nodding as they followed my arguments, but I will admit, one guy was taking a nap in the corner. I should have chucked my laser pointer at him.

A senior editor from the Journal Science also saw my talk and he sought me out later and congratulated my on my work.

I found one more job lead, so in the next few days I have to spiff up my resume and spin my research proposals to match their needs.

After the conference, I spent a week with my mom and visiting friends and family. Mom did her best to help me get in all of my once-a-year stuff in: one Kawartha Dairy ice cream, one homemade pie, one visit to the doctor, one swim in the lake, one paddle in a canoe, one visit to the cottage, the purchasing of one spifftastic suit (and four pairs of shoes), one hair cut, one pork chop.

I kept busy. If any of you notice that I am going really grey suddenly- not to worry- that is super strong white paint in my hair from painting the cottage ceiling. And raw cuticles? That would be from working in three separate gardens.

In no time flat, it seems, I was heading back to Jerusalem. In case you were wondering, my last two meals in Canada were a Timmy's double double for breakfast and a cheeseburger for lunch.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Safe and Sound

I made it back to Jerusalem safe and sound.
All I have to say is:
It is so very tan here.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Necessary Evils of Security

In just a few days time, after much anticipation, my home town, the H-hole, will be hosting the G8 Summit.

The sleepy town of 18 thousand, which rarely has anything so exciting happen, is all in a kerfuffle. First there was all the infrastructure improvements that have been happening over the last year, but now the real ugly stuff is starting.

There are the security passes to give out to the people who live in the restricted zone, the temporary Tim Horton's to build inside the resort where the summit is being held, the buses to organize for the resort staff to get to work and back, black bear training for all the security staff running around the woods, PR fun day for local kids and police in riot gear, and most conspicuous of all is the giant fence that is encasing several square kilometers resort, houses, roads, acres of bush and blocking off a main artery into town.

Since my parents live in the nearby village of Dwight, Mom and Dad's house will be cut off and they will have to take a rather circuitous route to get to the grocery store, but their story is not as bad as their friends Pam and Jamie. The fence goes right through their property cutting their house apart from their barn. They had "farm out" all their animals and shut down their bed and breakfast.

The fence is chain link, about 10 feet high and held upright by concrete feet. It is meant to keep all the expected protesters a good distance away from the buildings where the summit will be held (and incidentally, where I went to prom). I must admit, the thing is almost laughable since the fence is very climbable. I suspect the local mosquito and black fly population will be a more effective deterrent for protesters. I guess the fence is more a symbol of the border between secure and non-secure areas than an actual fence.

The fence and all this extra security is a real thorn in the thumb of locals, but generally I think there is a sense of excitement, and resignation that it is a necessary evil for the few days of the summit. Nothing really bad has ever happened in Huntsville, but locals can imagine that the summit might draw outsiders to town and cause some real trouble.

But I thought I would put this in perspective for my Muskoka friends who might read this. Every day in Jerusalem, I have my ID checked and bag searched to get onto campus for work. My bag gets looked in when I go to the grocery store, the mall, the bank and even the McD's to get those tasty three shekel ice creams. I see large guns almost daily on people walking around on the streets. In order to get to work and support their families, thousands of people have to make their way through slow moving check points built like abattoirs, to get past a thirty foot concrete wall topped with half a dozen lines of razor wire.

No one really likes the wall and the security, but it is viewed by many as a necessary evil to prevent a repeat of bad things that have happened. Itzik tells me he knows someone who lost a leg in my grocery store when a suicide bomber blew herself up. The McD's I frequent is next to Ben Yehudah street- a favorite locale for terrorist bombs- and the other university campus had a terrorist attack eight years ago that killed nine students in a cafeteria. And since that horrific wall has gone up, and security placed everywhere, the incidents of suicide bomber attacks has gone to near zero, to the point where I feel safe to move and live there for my post doc and invite my whole family for a visit.

Don't get me wrong, I loathe that wall and all the ugly truths about human nature it represents. Huntsvillians are getting a mere taste of what Jerusalem and the nearby occupied towns and cities is like every day.

So ask yourself this: what exactly are you willing to put up with as a necessary evil? Under what conditions? And for how long?

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

True North, Strong and Free

I was in Zellers, stocking up on cheap t-shirts, deodorant, and a coffee crisp. I overheard two guys as they walked by in T-shirts and flip flops.

They paused at a sign that said "European style for Everyone"

"Why would I want that?" one commented.

"Why would I want to look like anything but a Canadian, eh?"