Well, it pays sometimes to be a big mouth.
Yesterday the Boss invited a veritable god in our field to attend group meeting where we each presented four slides on our research. This guy was in town as a plenary lecturer for the NanoIsrael Conference which started today. I was amazed that he was able to comment intelligently on every project in the group despite his horrible jet lag from California and the mind-numbing three hour length of our group meeting. Although he had some really insightful things to say, I disagreed with his view of one of my labmate's systems.
So I opened my big fat mouth and told him so thinking maybe I had always misunderstood something.
In the entire afternoon, I was the ONLY person in my group to actually be brave enough to engage in discussion with the guy. The guy's cranium is intimidating but isn't that all the more reason to ask questions?
But then as I was laying in bed last night going over the days events, I started to second guess myself. Did I come across as a know-it-all? Or as a jerk? Was I not supposed to say anything?
However, today my fears were put to rest. At the conference mixer, the Nano God escaped the gravitational pull of his ever present orbiting admirers and I suddenly found myself standing next to him after some speeches. I must not have come across as jerk in group meeting because he started chatting me up. My ego is slightly flattered and I was able to ask him about is Nano-Army research group and some science stuff.
But true to the form of science and my luck, pride comes before the fall. Although I got to talk to a nano god, I got not one but two scholarship rejections this week. These were the last ones I could apply for and part of me is glad that this particular type of rejection torture is over. I ask you this, does everyone else's job have rejection like this too? Would my life be more stable if I had gone into something else? I feel like I am constantly in the ringer looking for the approval of others: reference letters, scholarship applications, peer reviews, poster awards, invited talks, even hits to my little blog...
At least the nanoparticles are impartial.
5 comments:
We luv ya Janet!
Yeah, rejections suck big time. Those grant agencies had no idea what they were missing out on for not giving you the green! Other than being impartial, we should all learn from the nanoparticles for being indifferent... My mantra: It's the normal quantum state (configuration, state of life, etc) when things don't work out and it's a bonus when they do so never get disappointed!
I'm on the other side of the fence, working in a granting agency; I get to dole out the money (and the rejection). But then, I've never talked to a Nano God so maybe I'm missing out.
Siu! Are you saying that when I am elated that things are working out and I am in an "excited" quantum state? (Bo- dum- ching!)
Pea. As a funding rejecter you and your ilk are not my favorite people right now. But don't worry, I'll get over it in a day or two. :)
Whether you're "excited", stuck at "ground state" (read: bored) or having "negative energy/dark matter" (read: depressed), the subatomic particles inside you are just chilling, vibrating, tunneling through space and time, and smashing into one another being totally oblivious... Human emotions are illusional, Janet, and that's a good thing because you are in complete control!!!!!!!
Wow, how did I come up with that I have no idea...
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