Dear Aunt Sandy,

Hello Aunt Sandy. I hear that you have been calling Judy in a big stew about us and the war in Gaza. Sleep well. Don’t worry about us until we get worried. We are not worried.

First of all, the action is confined to Gaza and a 40 km strip around it. We live much farther away in Jerusalem. We have heard that some people who know some people in the reserves have been called back. As I walked past a busy intersection on Friday, I saw about 50 Jewish Israelis with signs and whistles protesting the war. Other than that, life is exactly the same as it was in November.

Besides the fact that we are nowhere near Gaza, you should know we are under the protection of Allah. This may seem flip, but it is true. We live about a mile from the third most holy site in Islam, the Al-Aqsa Mosque. Muhammad came here and prayed and as a result, a very large and beautiful Mosque rests on the site (which, incidentally, is on top of the most holy site in Judaism, the site of The Temple, and about 200 yards from the most holy site in Christianity, the Church of the Holy Sepulchre.) And we rest our weary heads every night only a mile or so away.

No Muslim, even on a holy war, would rocket into this part of Jerusalem and risk hitting the mosque. Allah would not be happy and there would be a serious amount of smoting from the heavens. So what it comes down to is we are under the protection of Allah.

Don’t worry about us until we are worried. We are not worried.

Love,
Hen and Chicken

P.S. And if you are still worried about suicide bombers, we can’t afford to take the bus anyway. We walk everywhere.

P.P.S. Aunt Sandra of the Macdonald clan, as you might have figured out, this letter was not directed at you but I am sure you will appreciate the reassurance anyway. Plus, from what I hear, you did even crazier things in your youth.